Always Look Forward- Never down in!

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Shabana was a fitness freak, a happy-face and and believed highly in the ethical ways of the corporate world. This had bought a lot of disdain towards her, but she had refused to budge from her stand ever.

Life had never been easy for her, an alcoholic father, a pedantic mother and a hole in the pocket when it came to family income. Yet Shabana, took it all in her stride and it never affected her happy demeanour.

Then came love in her life, Dheer, the perfect guy, someone who was a quiet anchor and yet very romantic. Tall, dark and with a really cute smile, which made any girl go coy. The right guy that every girl yearns for.

Shabana was in heaven, she hadn’t realised till then that love could solve everything and all her issues seem to vanish. After an expected drama, at her home, they got married. At work, Shabana’s hard work paid off and soon she was in the senior management team. Life looked up at her and she basked in it’s glory. She was content.

Three years into the marriage Shabana was well settled in her job and her life. She wanted to have a kid now, as she felt she was ready and her biological clock was also ticking away. A year later, she delivered a baby boy. A boy who a true copy of her husband. Shabana’s happiness knew no bounds.

But life is a bitch and it came back to bit her. No sooner, had she delivered Agastya, she got to know he had a hole in his heart. He was kept away from her and the infant had to go through multiple surgeries as soon as he was born. This just broke her down. It’s one thing to face adversities and smile in their face but when it comes to your child, a mother is hit worst. Dheer and Shabana would spend hours gazing at Agastya in the ICU. Imagine a mother who could not be close to her new born. It was traumatic for her. But Agastya was, a strong child like her mom, and he braved through it all.

A few weeks and he was released from the hospital.

This was the beginning of Shabana’s second lease of problems. As Agastya grew he would have breath holding spells and her heart would stop beating. Her dad died of cancer, she was very close to him. Even before she could recover from this setback, her cousin passed away. When Agastya turned two he started getting seizures and she found that it was Epilepsy. Epilepsy, represents the most common serious neurologic problem affecting children

Shabana had to take a painful decision to quit her job ,that she had woken so hard for and stay-at-home to take care of their baby.

They had sleepless nights for three years till Agastya became five years, when as pre-advised by the doctor, the seizures stopped.

Was this the end of her miseries? You would think she had had enough and now things will #lookup for her. Being at home had created a very strong bond between her and Agastya. He was her prized possession and for him she was the one. They would read stories together, draw together and even play together. She had to be extra careful with him, not hurting himself on the head and not running a fever or a cold, else it would lead to seizures. Agastya even as a child could feel the anxiety his mother had when he would have a running nose. Everytime Agastya would fall and cry, Shabana would tell him ,” Darling,you should always look forward and not down in and you will not fall”.

One day in grade one, while going through Agastya’s homework sheets Shabana realised that her son was getting some spellings wrong and also mixing up a few alphabets. She tried working with him on spellings, yet he did not improve. Agastya’s grammar and language was fine while he spoke, but messed up when he wrote it.

Shabana, approached his school and met the student counsellor there. The counsellor explained to her that this was known as dyslexia and he was reading letters reexperienced.

Shabana was completely taken aback. She came back home to her two loves in life and started contemplating. Her entire life was quickly transmitting in front of her eyes. She could remember her sad moments and happy memories and the first seem to outweigh the latter. Her resolve to battle out in life and kick it in it’s face was fading slowly. How much could she take in?Was there no happy end to all her dark days? Whenever life had knocked her down she had landed on her feet and and gotten back on track again. This moment was not that.

“Mumma”, a hand came and wrapped around her shoulders giving her the bear hug she needed. “You should always look forward and not down in and you will not fall”. His innocent words hit the right chord. She decided to always #lookup and never back.