Do women fear success? Why Should they??

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Do you fear success?

No, why should I? Infact, why should anyone fear success?

When the topic was thrown on me, ‘no’ was an instant answer! But then I was urged more and I got inquisitive and decided to explore around it’s terrain. Specially, when you have powerful speakers like Nandita Das(actress), Tara sharma(actress) , Ansu Gupta(COO Pinstorm), Sonali Dhawan( MD P&G),Monica Chaturvedi(FICCI) ,Seema Hingarrany(clinical psychologist and an author) and Arti Gupta(Founder Hopscotch.in). Thanks to FMC(First Moms Club and Ruchita Dar Shah, through their initiative Back to the Front, I got to experience and know so many different perspectives on this.

“Success is personal“-We define our own measures of success. If being a good mother is success for me, then so be it. As mothers we are role models for our kids and being able to do that successfully is success for me.

Women fear success as guilt takes over. So it’s guilt that drives the fear. Guilt of not being able to spend time with my kids, guilt of loving my job more than my kids, guilt of doing better than my husband etc.

I have more respect for my mom who has worked all her life, as now I realise that even through the difficult times she held her own.

Is the child really that fragile?Or is the belief just a projection of our fears?

What about Non-moms?

I am scared of being lonely. The choice of quitting my job was my own, now that I am being offered roles, and I join back will I ever me able to put my feet up and relax? My fear is, will I be happy?

These were some very interesting views that got highlighted.

What I learnt there, was beautifully put in words by Tara Sharma, We are all so different, yet our problems are so common.

Our fears, our guilt, our missing a support system when we needed it. All this just resonated, one issue, women can move forward and achieve so much in life if given the right guidance, boost and support.

My parents and my husband have and will always be my biggest support. But even them, when it came down to my young kid being left home alone with a maid while I was trying to build my career, did not appreciate or understand my need to continue working. When I was battling my guilt in this case, there was absolutely no one to tell me, that it will be all right. My kid will survive this! I wish women like me are given guidance at that moment of weakness and given the right support, so that what we have strived and bled for like any other man, should not be let go of that easily. I believe if we start taking our choices seriously, so will everyone around us. The change in perception should start from us and then only will it trickle down. Our careers, our life choices are not casual!!

What also was the outcome of this meet was that I got aware of the initiatives that FICCI is taking to create a support environment for working women through their initiatives. A cause, that is very close to my heart. Currently, I am corresponding with FICCI and will soon update you on this. So keep watching this space. Till then just believe in yourself and if you see a battered woman, just support her, if you can’t do much, just be kind :)!!