All great things are simple and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
Sometimes a simple word or expression deceptively hides a much deeper emotion behind it and it’s only after conscious contemplation one might be able to decipher the latent thought .
A small and otherwise casual conversation on a breakfast table with my 11-year-old son, did nudge me think of how a particular relationship evolves with generations .
On the question of what’s the first thought which comes in his mind when he hears the word ‘father’ he quipped back immediately : GIFT
Now it might just seem a casual expectancy of an upcoming event: the fathers on the 16th of this month, but then it also suddenly made me reflect on the possible deeper meaning, beyond the transactional level .
Even today the same word brings in a sense of security but with reverence, respect and mixed emotions of fear and sombreness. This is what most my generation stepped out of into the world of global cultures and expressive freedom. To expect similar thoughts as in past about this relationship was to deliberately look away from the reality of today and the constantly changing future.
So when my son stated the word GIFT my immediate but conscious deeper reflection made me think of whole lot of parallel words like positive expectancy, hope, happiness, provider, friend etc all of which in his innocence comes out in a more everyday expression. Relationships today in the general rush of life do tend to become transactional without them intended to be so. I remember having hours of talks of idealism with our seniors as kids which seems almost impossible to converse with today’s kids. The short attention span inducted by the new mediums, the speed of everyday life, a different dimension of social context, the world of acronyms all push the expressions also to be deceptively simple and everyday. I believe it’s for us as parents to find out either by friendly enquiry or by simply using conscious thinking to understand deeper emotions.
Only then I feel the expressions don’t die down at basic level and give path to more meaningful conversations .
For me it was a learning inducted by simplicity and spontaneity of my son’s expression helped me to catch the purity in it and with a little patience to flower out a completely different dimension of his emotions .
For me this fathers day has provided this conscious platform to consciously evaluate the small and simple things of everyday life and make it as momentous as possible.
It would be so apt to quote Shakespeare’s line at this point of closure
“it is a wise father that know his own child “
This article is authored by Vishal Kapoor, Chief Design Officer at Future Group. He’s been a dad for 11 years and has been a key evangelist for driving design thinking in India.
He’s a hands on dad having contributed and participated in raising his son and enriching his experiences by exploring this world and its people and cultures together as a family. He almost always ensures to catch a talk before the end of the day with his son not just to evaluate how the day was but to experience it through his child’s perspective.
We need more and more dads to participate in parenting and to hear their views, because after all it was never meant to be one person’s job. We at @maaofallblogs would love to hear from you. We are opening a dad’s corner and you are free to write in to [email protected] share your views anytime.
The relationship one has with their father is indeed a gift. This is such a lovely heart wArming post and it honestly made me think of my dad too.
This was such a heart touching read thanks vishal for sharing your personal story with us. I quite liked the quote in the end. 🙂
Mrinal Kiran says
As kids, for us, relationships are usually transactional… Atleast that’s how much we understand… But as we grow up, we know, we feel and we understand… That relationships are much deeper… And those with parents is something words cannot define… But yes, they are definitely gifts!
So heartening! Indeed Dad is equally important gift for everyone just like mom. It’s good to see we appreciate Dad for all that he does for us on this special day.
Relationship with the father is truly a blessing . you have penned down so beautifully .. Loved reading this.