My husband and I often have arguements about how to bring up our kids. I think our parents did a splendid job and especially both our moms. While I get to spend more time with my boys as I work from home, as they are growing up they look up more to their dad. My elder one likes to emulate my husband all the time. This is what I tell my hubby and this is what I strongly believe; a lot of values that the boys learn are from their dads and after a certain age they may not confide in me for their problems. So that bond has to develop for them being able to approach him and learn from him. Learning to respect women being one of the most essential one.
There are a lot of misconceptions out there about how a man is supposed to treat a woman. As a father, he must build this quality within our kids since the early age which can be started from the home itself. What are my reasons and how can dads teach their sons to respect women?
Kids believe what their Dads say
As a father, your job is to love and respect your wife and other women. Our kids listen to how we talk about our family and how we speak about other women and girls. The gender criticism trickles into our sons (and daughters) and is powerfully undermining of building respect. So be a role model.
You Need To Talk More
Sometimes we have to talk about gender differences (like the fact that girls are the ones who fall pregnant, and are likely to be physically weaker than boys when it comes to gender violence), but in many instances, respect is about ‘respecting people,’ irrespective of their gender. If we role model compassion, non-judgment, and kindness to everyone, that’s the message that sinks into our kids.
Take A Stand
Remember to correct people when they crack a sexist joke or make a sexist remark in front of your kids. This is going to form basic ethics of your child’s life. Parents are observed by their kids every day and this is where they inculcate their values from. So sometimes we need to take a stand and speak up for our kids to learn to stand up to issues.
Do That Sex Talk Early
With technology seeping into our kids lives they might get exposed to porn much earlier than what you have anticipated. Instead of getting flabbergasted the best way would be to talk to them, counsel them and make them understand why it might be disturbing for you. This also helps them understand the opposite gender better.
Teach your kids about feminism
Being ‘feminist’ simply means, that we know we are all living in a world which is full of social, economic and political inequality. I see a lot of grown men squirm at the mention of the word feminism. That is why, the education about the word feminism has to start early in life and coming from the dad, would make a lot of sense to the boy. Not only women they meet outside their homes but their moms and their sisters should be treated with respect. Little bonds that we create through Rakhi and bhaidooj, wherein one the brother promises to protect whereas in the second one the sister promises to protect the brother. Our traditions also teach us mutual respect and equality. Use them to set the right examples. Let them be caretakers for their little sisters. Girls tend to bring in softness in character and evoke protectiveness from those around.
There are so many things to get frustrated over in this modern world and this is the reason why we all need something called as a sense of humor. Life is not only about being serious because we all have one life so let’s make it worth. We can laugh at ourselves – with all our flaws and failures, and this is how our kids will learn the same and grow.
You can teach your son the value of respect by showing him respect and how you treat your mom, your sister and your wife. Whatever your son’s age, remember, your influence as his dad is strong so tread carefully, his future choices and habits depend on his upbringing.