The title brings a smile to my face.All my growing years,I had these notions about how when I have my own kids I will never,treat them the way I am being treated.I will be friends with my kids.I will never give up working,or lose my individuality in the process!
You should know that we are or at least were two different personalities altogether.She was this docile,homemaker whose life revolved around her kids and her family and I was this rebellious ,outspoken brat.Over the years we have moved towards each other;
She has started speaking her mind and I have become more patient, and try to weigh my words before I speak(read ‘try’).She thinks of family before herself and I too over the years have realised that I place my kids and family before myself. For example if my kid is unwell, I will take and appointment and rush him to the doctor. But if I am having some health concerns, I tend to keep postponing it and just pop medicines on my own. I have always chided her for doing so but unconsciously, I am there too.She is a great cook and I used to be a lazy one, in fact I used to cook only if necessary. But over the years I have picked up and can see myself following course. I think here the biggest change drivers are my kids. When they like something and want to have it, I think of trying it at home, as at least then they will get hygienic food with less fats. This is the exact logic my mom gave me when we were kids, OMG!!I have seen most of my conversations with my friends have started lurking around maids and kids. And I always wondered as a kid, don’t they have anything more interesting to do?Talking to my elder son feels like stepping through a minefield, now I know how she felt when I thought I was standing my ground. Most of our conversations end on a tiff and the next day I see myself making up. She is a non-conformist and I am too. Here of course, I think she has moved more towards me than I have. I have always been a rebellious, non conformist kind of individual and believed in doing things my way. My mom has always been slightly docile and did things how others deemed right. But over the last couple of years I have seen her change and now she speaks her mind. “Eeshan,study or you will not get good marks”,”You have a whole lifetime to party”! (I never believed in this as a kid)“Ahaan, good boys don’t do that!” (What she always told me)
You should know that we are or at least were two different personalities altogether.She was this docile,homemaker whose life revolved around her kids and her family and I was this rebellious ,outspoken brat.Over the years we have moved towards each other;
She has started speaking her mind and I have become more patient, and try to weigh my words before I speak(read ‘try’).She thinks of family before herself and I too over the years have realised that I place my kids and family before myself. For example if my kid is unwell, I will take and appointment and rush him to the doctor. But if I am having some health concerns, I tend to keep postponing it and just pop medicines on my own. I have always chided her for doing so but unconsciously, I am there too.She is a great cook and I used to be a lazy one, in fact I used to cook only if necessary. But over the years I have picked up and can see myself following course. I think here the biggest change drivers are my kids. When they like something and want to have it, I think of trying it at home, as at least then they will get hygienic food with less fats. This is the exact logic my mom gave me when we were kids, OMG!!I have seen most of my conversations with my friends have started lurking around maids and kids. And I always wondered as a kid, don’t they have anything more interesting to do?Talking to my elder son feels like stepping through a minefield, now I know how she felt when I thought I was standing my ground. Most of our conversations end on a tiff and the next day I see myself making up. She is a non-conformist and I am too. Here of course, I think she has moved more towards me than I have. I have always been a rebellious, non conformist kind of individual and believed in doing things my way. My mom has always been slightly docile and did things how others deemed right. But over the last couple of years I have seen her change and now she speaks her mind. “Eeshan,study or you will not get good marks”,”You have a whole lifetime to party”! (I never believed in this as a kid)“Ahaan, good boys don’t do that!” (What she always told me)
“Vikram, you don’t ever have time for kids or for me!” (Where am I picking all this?)
“Eeshan, nobody locks the doors in this house” (And I always felt the need of space as a tween and found this extremely invasive )
OMG!! I open my mouth and my mom,comes out!
Sometimes, when I catch myself staring at the mirror I see her reflection.
All illusions broken,I humbly accept,”I am my Mom!”
You may also like:
Listen Up Moms: Life Lessons From An Informed Mom- Things You Will Relate To If You Are A Mom With Boys
- Charlize Theron A Bewildered Mom Or An Abusive One?
- Mothers Day Is A Wishful Dream !
- Top Searched Questions On Raksha Bandhan Answered
- How To Create A Life bucket list: Because When Penned Things Do Manifest
Aww.. this is such a cute post 🙂
Thanks Pooja, my mom loved it too 🙂
Hi, very nice blog, parenthood is always challenging and most responsible job, the style may differ generation by generation, but in heart we all are same. In my case we did not have TV untill our college life. Few years back initially I allowed my son to indulge in TV, iPad, iPhone etc…and gradually I am detaching him from everything like my dad dint allow me to play even cricket in our small galli worrying someone’s window glass will be broken and I will be held responsible, because I was the senior most by class standard. Agree with you, I too thought that I won’t let my son have the upbringing the way we were brought up. And now I do realise that they did their best in upbringing four kids in a city life with a regular govt salary. I admit I can’t match my dad!
Moon, only when we reach this stage, so we realised the reasoning behind our parents’s every action. You reminded me of how I was only allowed to wax when I reached class 11th or wear a watch after I reached class 8th. Too late by today’s standards but I guess in those days this was also tough for our parents to allow ;). Kids nowadays have so many things accessible to them so early in life. Today when I have to deal with my kids, it is a difficult choice to deny them something but as my dad believes it builds character and I just trust his instincts.
This is so sweet, thanks :). Odd to see myself here.