Moms And Daughters: Moms are Precious, A Guiding Light, Then A Friend, Then Dominating And Finally A Burden!!!

Someone has analysed it for the relationship between fathers and sons, I am wondering how different will it be for moms and daughters? I believe, seen my mom and now myself a mom, the relationship status is forever changing.
My earliest memory of my mom is when we were based in a small township of Nagda. I remember, watching movies in an OAT(open air theatre)and taking walks with her in the beautiful gardens around, I would not leave her side. She is so pretty!! Don’t we all remember our mom’s to be pretty? No matter how ordinary their features might be. Yes, that’s what I think of her as a 3-year-old, pretty and precious.

I further shuffle my memory and I am in class 2nd, she is studying for her B.Ed. exams, preparing us for our school and also managing the house. She surprisingly clears her exams but did not pursue teaching. That time it is just a fact for me, didn’t bother me much. I am oblivious to her needs, achievements, never bother to help her. I regard her as a multitasker and hardworking person.

In a few years, I am in class 6th and I have friends over. In between her busy schedule, she also plays scrabble with me and my friends. There is Rasna(no fancy Tropicana juice in those days) and bhelpuri being served to us while we are playing.

I start PMSing and am horrified to death, as I don’t understand. She calms me down and explains to me, and I realise it is not earth shattering and happens to all girls. She is my saviour and my friend!I am a teenager now, with my hormones overflowing…the world is exciting and full of fun. I have my secret crushes, dates and night outs. I don’t discuss much with my mom as we don’t share such an open relationship. Somehow, I feel she is watching me, reading me and she knows(this makes me uncomfortable). I am a permanent attachment to our landline and the first one to run to pick if the phone so happens to even whistle. All she tells me is to concentrate on my studies and ace my board exams(How typical!). I have arguements with her because I want to go for parties with my classmates while she thinks I should be at home studying. I am lectured about how this phase in my life will decide the course of my entire career. She is overbearing and dominating!At 18, I move to Delhi to do my graduation, I am a free bird ready to take on the world. Of course, the world is not as welcoming as I thought it to be thanks to the aggressive Delhi crowd. I am duped and snubbed many times and I am delusional. On the other hand, I got plenty of opportunities to go out and have fun, bunk classes, finally see the discotheques. But when it comes down to making all the big decisions I am not going against my parent’s teachings. It is almost as if it has been imprinted in all my responses. I want to try smoking, flirt with boys, do trips outside the city(even the most harmless ones!). I just can’t without informing her or taking permission which I know in most cases will be a no. She is subconsciously my guiding light!At 25, when I tell her about the man in my life, she is calm and supportive and just checks with me if I am sure of my choice. The fact that he is from a different caste and culture doesn’t bother her. I am pleasantly surprised, in fact, she convinces the family on my behalf. I love her even more!

At 30, when I deliver my first baby, she is the only one I can count for support. She relentlessly stays up nights with me. Teaches me the nuances of raising a new baby. Even takes care of the baby on her own when I need a break. She is my teacher and my strength!

At 35, when I am a mother of two kids, I finally realise what hell she went through raising us.I call her often for tips on cooking and raising kids, handling husbands and so on and so forth. She listens patiently and gives me great advise which always work. I respect her immensely.

 I am 60 and she is in her 80s, she is old(this is hypothetical) and she is ailing and needs me the most. She has raised me, taught me, stayed up nights for me, sacrificed everything for me and now when she needs me the most I am just too busy in my family life and commitments to take off and care for her. She is my mother but just my burden!

But what we fail to see is that one day we will be old too and how would we feel if our kids treat us like a burden?

Let’s not wait till eternity, pick up that phone and call her…!!

Your mom has always been your silent friend/partner in your crimes / your saviour of messy situations/ a pillar of strength when you needed her.  This ‪#‎MothersDay‬ thank her from your heart and send her a beautiful wish. She is a star and she deserves one :)!