Running Was My Love But It Was Taking Over My Life

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First of all, wish you all #GlobalRunningDay and I am sure most of you would already be out running or back from it to commemorate the day. I ran too after a really long break. I know you have heard this multiple times but when I say long I mean months. Since mid last year, my mind was off running and while I was running now and then, my speed had slowed, my frequency had gone down. By September I had registered by myself in OXFAM and started concentrating more on walking and building strength. November was my last ever long run where I did 21 kms with a little struggle. In December, my team(an all women’s team, makes it sound better, doesn’t it?), and I finished OXFAM trailwalker, a 100 kms trail walk under 48 hours and we were ecstatic. Many teams gave up during the trail as it is as much a test of your mental strength as physical(you walk over hills and forests through scorching heat and through pitch dark), but why am I talking about this here? After the OXFAM, I felt I had my moment of glory and now I could hang my boots and that I did. By now I had written off the SCMM or any marathons for the year. However, as the day approached like every other runner, I couldn’t resist going for the marathon. Being unprepared I could barely run and walk and this year the weather Gods were also not kind enough. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I barely finished the half marathon.

While I was ok with it, on one hand, I guess my runner’s ego had been hurt. You see this was my 5th year of running half marathons and I had expected my body to perform better but as most seasoned runners would agree, running is one such activity where if you don’t practice the muscles get unused to the activity and you have to build up the memory all over again. I did promise to get back but this time my mind refused to want to run. I have spent months practising yoga, strength training and my new-found love, walking but running love was fading. Even if I tried to run a few times, I would be out of breath and my running buddies would be better off by miles, which kept frustrating me further. The point is people, it happens to everyone. There are phases of ups and downs. When you are totally into running your world revolves around it so much so that Sunday only means long runs, you love your aching and sore muscles, the chipped of toenails are battle scars that you proudly wear, your day only starts with a run and comparing timing on your Garmin and Fitbit and you guiltily enjoy their company more than your old friends because they get you. And then sometimes there comes a phase when you are put off or you are not that keen on it and that’s ok too as running can take over your life and sometimes you want to regain it back. That’s what happened to me for years I have run without a thought and with single mind focus so I guess I wanted to try different avenues or maybe running and I needed space, so we broke up, but when love is deep you can’t stay away for long. I am back and my body is wanting to run, but as I said it will be back to ground zero. This time I will run for the love of it, not stress for timing or for counting my marathons. I guess like everything when you separate the goal from the purpose, the journey becomes more wonderful.