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The Changing Face Of Parenting

Motherhood· My Take· Posts that I recommend

16 Aug
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changing face of parenting

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“Study diligently,be honest,don’t lie,be respectful to your teachers and elders,share with your friends and take care of those who are younger than you”,that was pretty much the mantra that we grew up with,the guiding laws from our parents.Life was so simple,guided by the  sweet laws of parenting.Now when I see kids ,so emotionally intelligent ,so competitive,excelling in almost two to three talents,I do but wonder if life is as simple now?Every school competition is played with the fervourofan ‘Indian Idol’,and the pressure starts as early as kindergartens.I remember a dance competition where one Junior KG kid had taken classes from a professional choreographer for a month and the sets were also prepared professionally and details like costume,professional make up artist were all taken care of .The child did win ,but I shudder to think of the performance pressure for the child or her mother or even her peers who would have to match up to the level next time.What happened to the good old days?Even in college we had a choreography team where we came up with ideas and steps ,downloaded songs and remixed them to form a theme song for our team.Even designed our own clothes and we won everywhere we went at All India levels,all by ourselves.Just practised very,very hard andaced.Which brings me to my second point, kids today are being served everything on a platter.We as parents do all the groundwork,provide them with the best of opportunities and push them to excel.Even small class projects is googled and no expense is spared.The competition is so thick in the mind of parents that child’s childhood ,their natural ability is somewhere lost.One of my friends recently told me of a grade one kid who locked herself in the room as she could not take more pressure from her mother for studies.Are we trying to satisfy our justification for giving up careers for our kids or trying to fulfill our unfulfilled desires or just succumbing to peer pressure?Have you ever heard ,of aten year old boy committing suicide because he was denied an evening out ,when you were kids?When a mother called me to thank me ,for my son had shared his project pictures with her daughter,as she had forgotten to carry them.Instead of being proud I was concerned.I was challenged between being worried that my child was so naive or  being proud as he was a sweet generous soul.I was more  worried he would not have given his best shot to the project.My parents would have been proud,so I did tell him it was a nice deed to share with his friend,but I was also worried for his future.It irks me that I had to tell him to take care of his needs first and then help others.It is against all that I have learned but that’s the world now.

When my kids friends come home,and he is only seven,they discuss the cars they own,the number of Ipads and laptops they possess rather than discussing toys,games,studies.I don’t remember ever even discussing this stuff with my friends.New car ,even a new TV was a great celebration,as it was uncommon.We had the same car and TV for the last 15 years.Today it’s not about the TV but how many inches,LED or LCD or 3D.Not only a new car but BMW or Mercedes.We broke our heads trying to explain to our kid why we cannot afford a Ferrari.He finally agreed ,after he realised we were poor ;0)!!There was no other way we could have won this arguement.

The face of parenting is changing and I am not sure I like it!The challenges ahead are tough and the road scary.

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9 Comments

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Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    July 30, 2013 at 16:03

    Excellent writing. Keen observation of child behaviour.
    P.K.Alok

    Reply
  2. Prerna Sinha says

    July 31, 2013 at 04:13

    Thank you :0)!!

    Reply
  3. Nuzhat Khan says

    July 31, 2013 at 06:39

    very well explained prerna……keep it up!

    Reply
  4. Prerna Sinha says

    July 31, 2013 at 12:03

    Thks Nuzhat,it’s heartfelt.

    Reply
  5. Anonymous says

    August 1, 2013 at 10:13

    Well written! so true! Look forward!
    Amit

    Reply
  6. Dollie Solanki says

    August 4, 2013 at 14:26

    This is so true..my kids discuss their subway surfers scores with their friends.
    As far as the different brands are concerned, we try to explain the value of things rather than just the cost.

    Reply
  7. Prerna Sinha says

    August 4, 2013 at 16:57

    Hi Dollie,it’s rather sad that the value systems are changing and not for the better.We are hugely at fault as we provide them stuff even before they ask for it.

    Reply
  8. karishma says

    August 17, 2015 at 14:51

    Amazing piece. I’m a teacher and it troubles me to see the kids of today and their behaviour. I mean how does one even begin to instil values in them.

    Reply
    • Prerna Sinha says

      August 17, 2015 at 17:19

      Karishma, I strongly believe the schools are the building foundations for a child’s growth. Schools today are way too lenient when it comes to moral values and discipline. Academics and extra curricular activities are not the only thing they need to focus on.

      Reply

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Prerna Sinha

I am a, happily married, mother of two beautiful boys, a foodie, travel enthusiast, shopaholic and a newly minted fitness seeker. Read More…

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