To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First
All those who say that parenting is no joke, are actually correct. It requires a great deal of patience, creativity and energy – both physical and emotional. Children change our worlds upside down. They are demanding, giving, and transform our lives for good.
My husband and I have often caught ourselves, discussing or arguing in front of our kids. Something our parents never did. While it’s great to involve kids in discussion, I have realised over the years that we should never argue in front of them. I grew up knowing that my parents shared a bond that we couldn’t disrupt and that gave me a lot of solace. This is exactly what we tend to forget while handling our relationships.
Often, we parents are so involved with our kids that we forget some of our own priorities – one of which is keeping the spark alive in the marriage.
Happy marriage means happy kids
Marriage brings excitement, hope and of course love in two people’s lives. However, as the relationship grows, so do the responsibilities. Couples usually become so comfortable in each other’s company that they stop putting any extra efforts on their romantic relationship. There are several reasons due to which working on your marriage takes a backseat. The fast life, demanding careers and sometimes simply taking other’s presence for granted can wreak havoc on a marriage.
It’s not only the marriage that suffers in the process, unhappy couples could have a disastrous effect on their children. Conflicts in a marriage leads to unhappy conversations and harsh arguments. Research suggests that children of all ages from infancy through early adulthood have adverse impact due to parental discord. Kids become emotionally insecure, have poor mental health and have failed relationships even during their adulthood.
Could there be anything worse?
Parents play a crucial role in developing children’s emotional quotient and this can’t be achieved to the fullest if parents themselves are dealing with relationship issues. So if you want that your kids should be happy, focus your shift on re-igniting the lost love with your spouse.
Working on your marriage could be tricky. Here are some quick ideas to strengthen the bonding with your partner.
1. Have a dedicated “us” time
And yes, you have to exclude your kids. Remember the time when you had no children? You went for shopping, took out time for movies or simply cooked together – just to be with each other. After having children, parents just conveniently forget that they have life outside of their parental roles. It might seem unnerving that you leave the kids to spend time with your spouse. But believe me, they will be happier to see their parents bonding with each other so well after that dinner date or a common hobby class.
Spending some time away from your kids won’t make you bad parents.