The idea popped into my head when a few years back, still in my thirties, I read this lovely post by Meryl Streep on turning forty. I decided I will write one too to mark my fortieth(warning, the post is not a copy, doesn’t claim to be as brilliant but is just an unedited page from my life). In my thirties, I may not have accepted it but as I turn forty, I give a damn. Yeah, age does that to you! You can finally stand up and speak your mind without trying to be politically right.
My body started showing signs of ageing when I turned thirty-five, and I don’t only mean greying of hair. I felt low on energy, got tired easily and lost my stamina. Was it time to hang the bucket, I wondered? And then I got pulled into running and fitness improved many folds. I ran a half marathon every year since then. At 39, I participated in OXFAM trailwalker which is one of the toughest 100kms trails that you have to complete under 48 hours. At 40, I trekked to Everest Base Camp and Kala Pathar. Guess, never say never was one of the biggest life lessons for me. When your body fails you, your mind can win!
Turning 40 means being unabashed about having a crush on Justin Trudeau. I guess he is the most loved and cutest political figure of our times :). Yes, yes I have major plans to visit Canada and bump into him. Hugh Jackman, you come second.
Turning 40 changes you. You transform from being a fashionista to a woman who has no patience for parties or facials. Not only is your skin showing the signs you also realise the wisdom of your grandma’s advice. She has been telling you since you were a kid but you have to go the full circle to realise it.
You become bold enough to announce your age to the world where you know you will hear either squeals of excitement, ” OMG she is forty and I didn’t realise!!” or of judgements ” OMG she is forty”!! A few days back I was 39 and you didn’t judge me because my work spoke for me and I didn’t tell you my age, but today you do!! Honestly, you need to look at your shallowness, I am evolving not ageing :)!
You become a Zen Buddha or start inching towards one. I have amazing patience for my kids, trust me I can’t exist without ignoring most chaos that goes around the house but on the same hand, I have zero tolerance for judgements. You may think I am a bad mom, maybe, so be it. You think I am too outspoken, sure. Most people find me too feminist or too bold and I have no time to explain to them how I run my life. I am happy Buddha in my zone.
We all have that little girl in us who gets lost with age, time, ambition, work, marriage and kids. I found this little girl in me again a few years back through my writings and on my journey, I have been urging other women to do the same as well. The gypsy in me has an urge to travel the world and I try and take time off for a few weeks every year to search for her. While I would have been too worried a few years back to leave my kids and head out, wondering how they will manage, how my family will cope up without me. I soon realised the fears are all my own and when I did start taking those tiny steps out of my home, all I gained was happiness, sense of freedom and a yearning to come back home after a few days. And you know the best part? My family opened up too, after their initial fears. The kids coped much better than I hoped for, they bonded with their dad or grandparents whoever they were around that time. They grew responsible and somewhere I am very proud of the fact that my little munchkins are growing up watching an independent woman and her needs. Understanding and respecting that.
The forties is an age when your hair ages and your body and mind doesn’t. While some self-respecting women have moved to not colouring their hair I am still stuck in vanity. Maybe I need to be fifty to start that :).
I am slowly losing the friends I had. I am no more a social butterfly much like my impression. While I look for depth in relationships, they look shallower. My friends see my social media updates and they think that my life is full or busy. But what kind of a friend you are if you don’t pick up the phone and check how I am? Well, as I get more cynic, I am letting go of such friends. You get emotional about everyone and everything. It’s a change in my carefree personality and I am trying hard to accept it.
It’s when you realise you are looking for deeper meanings in life and going to the mall for a movie or shopping binge doesn’t cut it anymore. I am finding mine through yoga, exercise, and travel. A few years back I tried yoga and hated it. I have always been a very restless person and sitting still was an issue. When I rediscovered yoga, it was more a natural process and it has brought around such calmness in me. The biggest change in me is that it has taught me to let go and forgive people.
You look back at life and wonder what a long way you have come from being a small town girl who was not even allowed to party with school friends beyond the LOC of your colony to the one who travels solo when required to new destinations.
Turning forty also means you learn to open more, be more self-assured, have an opinion but sometimes don’t feel the need to express it, you see through people’s masks and find the innocence behind, you don’t try hard to please others but be yourself, need your people around you to cocoon you, be liberated yet attached. It’s an interesting age and I am beginning to see why.
Pic credit: @ameyamapuskar
Makeup: Rituja Satdive
Venue partner: Westin Garden City, Mumbai
Clothing Partner: Vyuom
Totally in agreement with your post. I too turned forty this year and yes I don’t colour my hair. Yoga, meditation and realtionships that nurture me and grow with me are the things that keep me going. Guess I was yearning to be forty to be out of a lot of confusions I had in life. I am calmer and more of me now, may be age is not just a number and may be numbers do play an important role in life.
Wishing you a very happy and satisfying birthday.
We all go through a journey and find ourselves. I think the number forty does scare us for a while and then we learn to accept it. We realise didn’t transform but just grew another year older :).
Wonderfully expressed Prerna. I woke up too the same way..may you love life even more and reach your zenith. Warm wishes!!!
Thanks Lakshmi 🙂
Such a lovely post, Prerna!
I was nodding my head all the way through because I feel most of these things. Just a year to go and I will join the gang too. Seriously, I too don’t feel any hesitation to declare my age.
Gray hair will have to remain hidden for a while now. Vanity! 😀
But yes, I look for meaningful friendships now. Have let go of many meaningless friendships.
Cheers to happy and fulfilling years ahead. Life after all blooms on the other side of 40.
Hoping to look on the other side and to rock it too. So glad it resonates with you too :)!
Very beautifully penned down and described what changes one can feel while reaching towards the age of forty. There are some years left to reach that stage. But through your post i can imagine how you are feeling at this state. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Loved reading this post. I didn’t want it to end so soon. I can relate to many things you wrote and experience. Actually thankful as I am not feeling comfortable in my 30’s for most of the ageing issues you shared.
From start till end one word that I had in my mind while reading this post was grace. It’s so important to age gracefully and accept the changes our body goes through and rather to find ways in which we still feel young at heart and do everything to stay like that forever.
Very well written and expressed from the heart. Wish you a very happy birthday and a great time into the forties!!
This is such an inspiring post. I am almost in my mid-thirties and I know what you mean about feeling low on energy. I hope I can do even half of what you are doing at 40.
Waking up to reading this is very motivating I’m in starting thirties but this post reflect what a woman expect in her 40s. More power to you
40 is new 16 they say. Congratulations. Such a lovely post. I too would like to write such a post wjen i turn 40 ?
You go girl!life begins at 40 and you have written a brave post out here! I totally feel the same way . After all , age is just a number, right?
I already have lost patience for parties or facials ?. That’s a good post and made me face some of my unfounded fears.
thoughtful articles nice sharing
Impressed that you trekked kala patthar at close to 40, I’m in the mid thirties but I know some things are setting in and you have given me the inspiration to change it. Thanks!
Such a lovely post dear.. Loved reading your journey …hats off to you gal.. Keep going
40 is just a number and not age.. when 40 you gain experience, maturity and satisfaction.. loved the post
An interesting post.Age is definitely a number
Evolving is a wonderful word .Keep shining beautiful !
Such an inspirational and motivational post it is girl ❤ I found this so interesting and unique
Turning 40 is like the yin and yang. What a lovely expression. 🙂 I’m glad I stopped by your site.
I love the way you have expressed your thought in words… This is an inspiration I can say…
This post is so reflective of what every woman turning 40 experiences in a her life. I hope every woman, mother or not has the strength to live through life with as much passion and poise as is reflected in your story
I thoroughly enjoyed the post. A lot of things you say seem just right, especially how the 40s begin to set by your kid thirties lovely!!
Ah ha… that’s a typical Maa of all posts I read today 😉 it speaks your mind with a little joyful smirk on face.
Yes aging gives us lot of paradigms to look at life. Be it with glass is half full or I drank mine to half. Life gives us chances to enjoy and uplift ourself from nitty grittys.
Justin & Hugh!! huh I am not far either to reach ya
Very well expressed and I fully agree. I am into my fifties, I dye my hair but not because of someone. I do it to make myself happy.
I still have a passion for learning, have been on a long sabbatical yet have been busy learning so much and yearning for more.
So age has not aged me too, has rather ennhanced my confidence, raised my spirit.
Great post!
Wonderful post. Age is all in your mind and seeing you I can easily say you are aging in style. Your post is truly inspirational.
So this is how I may feel too in my 40s! ? Motivational post! ? By the way, awesome pic! ?
You look so gorgeous. Age is just a number. 🙂
I so agree to everything you wrote here as some one who is also very close to this milestone. This is a time when we start caring less of what others say or think of us. It’s all about enjoying every moment and each day as it comes. Great post.
You’re ageing gracefully.. you might be ageing but still have that zeal intact!
Hope you have wonderful forties, as great as your thirties. Wishing you lots of success.
A very happy birthday to you Prerna first of all. I turn 40 soon and this post reminds me to think about the journey till here and what I want to achieve here after. You have always been an inspiration and I will continue to look up to you.
Wow! What a beautiful post! Straight from the heart! Just turned 30 myself! (There I said it out loud! LOL!!!!) Bookmarking your post to do an encore once I touch 40 myself! Kudos on being so fit! 🙂
Thanks Anjana 🙂
Prerna… A lovely and inspiring post. Thank you for pouring your heart out.. I am now looking forward to my next birthday and the next and why wait till 40, i think a self reflection like this is a great idea. Perhaps i too shall be able to sit still finally 🙂
Hi Prerna,
This is such a lovely post. Forty is just a number and I completely agree with that. There might be some disadvantage such as strength or stamina. However, there are many positives as well. At the end of the day, it is all in the mind. Our mind makes us feel like a forty-year-old at twenty-five and on the other side, it can make you feel twenty-five year old at the age of forty.
Thank you for sharing this inspiring post. Have a great weekend. 🙂
Nice Blog! Thanks for sharing this informative and valuable blog.
Awww that is such a lovely post. Not everyone feels comfortable sharing their age and talking about it but it is just a number.
Thanks, Sapna. I want women to embrace their age and feel proud of it. Especially, the influencers :).
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And I Like the blog so much
You Are an Amazing Person
Thank you Raghu.