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Sharing your child’s picture may be fun now, but it can lead to serious problems later. Here’s why sharenting is something best avoided.

It’s your child’s first birthday – an important milestone for the whole family! You plan a cute theme, set up all the decor and dress up the birthday boy or girl in a matching outfit. Now, of course, you have to take pictures – and you have to share them with your friends!

This seems like a perfectly normal scenario for modern parents, and we’ve seen hundreds, if not thousands, of such pictures on social media. And it’s not just birthdays – first step, first day at school, first visit from the Tooth Fairy, first sports win, first recital – some even have special ‘poop parties’ to celebrate potty training!

While all this is done with good intentions and a dose of fun, the unfortunate truth is that these photos don’t only stay restricted to your close friends or family members. Once you put your child’s photo out there, you’re opening up a Pandora’s box of problems. That’s why experts now warn parents against sharing too much – or sharenting.

What is Sharenting?

Sharenting is a combination of two words – sharing and parenting – and that’s exactly what it means. It refers to all the ways people in a child’s life upload or post the child’s photos on a public digital platform, such as social media.

Since I’m constantly on social media, my life is an open book to everyone who follows me. Even then, I try my best to keep a lot of things private while keeping my audience connected with who I really am. While I wasn’t aware of the dangers of sharenting initially, I have now become much more intentional about what I share about my family, especially my kids.

Sharenting may seem harmless on the outside, but it can cause serious problems later. Here’s a look at the many reasons you should hesitate posting about your kids online.

Sharenting is a Bad Idea – Here’s Why

When you click a photo of your child, you own that photo completely. But once you post it online, you are giving the platform a license to use it, although you remain the copyright holder. Even if your settings are private, you do not have 100% control over who views your photo or manipulates it for any purpose.

Every time you post about your child online, you are creating a digital footprint for them. This will continue to grow as you continue to post, and it will follow them around forever. Even if you delete the post, it can still be around in the archives or worse, the dark web.

Here are some of the potential dangers of sharing your child’s photo or other personal information online.

Potential Dangers of Sharenting

1. Easy Access for Predators

There was recently a news report about a woman who posted information about her daughter’s school online, and before long, the child was being harassed by grown men who came across the post. The Japanese police reported that 86 children were kidnapped based on information from social media. The FBI found that 82% of crimes against children began on social media.

When you constantly post about your child’s routines (‘day in my life’ videos), or their extra-curricular activities or other personal information, you are giving criminals a complete picture of your child’s life, including location details. This makes them vulnerable to attacks from predators who can easily access them with this information that you’ve given them, albeit unknowingly.

2. Digital Kidnapping

Imagine scrolling through social media only to find your child’s photo on a random stranger’s profile, claiming it to be her child. This was what happened to Lindsey Paris from Atlanta, and this is called digital kidnapping.

This is a trend where people use other people’s children’s images and give them a whole new identity, including a new name and parentage. It’s a bizarre kind of role play, where the kidnappers even reply to comments or answer questions pretending to be the child’s parent.

3. Identity Theft

Identity theft is a huge problem today, and sharenting could make even your innocent child susceptible to it. As mentioned earlier, every time you post about your child, you are adding to their digital footprint, which can be misused by hackers.

Criminals could sell your child’s photos and other information to unsavory parties – a combination of name, date of birth and address is sufficient to carry out bank scams, credit card fraud or other crimes. The dark web offers good money for personal data, and you have no idea of knowing how all that data will be used.

4. Lack of Privacy

It’s cute to share that picture of your child doing something silly, but you are sacrificing their privacy for a few laughs and likes. Studies show that by the age of 2, 92% of children already have an online presence – some even before they are born, thanks to gender reveal parties and the like!

When your child has an online identity from a very young age, it prevents them from creating their own when they’re older. It takes away their power, since they have no way of consenting when they’re so young. Not everyone appreciates their life being on public display, and they could end up resenting this invasion of their privacy.

5. Future Issues

Your 3-year-old may not have an issue with you posting a video of them having a tantrum, but your 12-year-old might not appreciate it. Since the photos and videos you’ve uploaded are pretty much online forever, they could end up making your child subject to bullying and other forms of harassment.

It could also affect their future prospects, since many universities or employers look at applicants’ social media profiles and online presence before making a decision. Those cute but embarrassing photos could end up costing them a good opportunity in education, employment or even relationships.

6. Use as Training Data

New AI trends keep popping up all over the place like mushrooms, and every time there’s a new one, you have the whole world rushing into it without thinking twice. Remember the AI Ghibli art trend, followed by the AI action figure trend? These apps require you to upload your picture in order to turn yourself into a cartoon or a doll.

But do you have any idea about what the company can do with the images you’ve uploaded? These apps often have vague terms of service, especially regarding privacy. From your child’s photo, the company gets access to facial data, along with hidden metadata like location and timestamps.

There is a real risk that all the uploaded photos are being used to train AI models. In fact, The New York Times did an investigation where they found that social media pictures of children were being used to train facial recognition software.

Tips for Parents regarding Sharenting

1. Don’t share personal information

The best tip when it comes to sharenting is this – don’t! Don’t share your child’s face, full name, date of birth, school or where you live. You can use nicknames instead and avoid celebrating their birthdays on social media, in a way that makes their age obvious.

If your child is in the photo although you don’t want her face to be seen, you can blur out her face or cover it up with a sticker – there are many options available on apps like Instagram.

2. Check each picture carefully

Whenever you post a picture online, make sure that you’re not involuntarily sharing personal information about your child, even if the child is not in the picture. For instance, make sure there aren’t any envelopes lying around with your address on them, or any school documents with the official logo.

Never leave birth certificates, report cards or medical documents lying around. Even random things like school uniforms, car number plates or driver’s licenses can give out personal information.

3. Don’t do live-sharing

There was once a parent who shared a photo of her kids at the airport, with the caption that they were flying out to see their grandparents today and that it was their first solo trip. This parent has willingly let people know that her kids are alone and has also told them where they are going – big sharenting mistake!

Similarly, if you are going on vacation, don’t share your holiday photos in real time – you are letting the world know that your home is unoccupied. Post the pictures once you’re back home, and while you’re at it, turn off geotagging and metadata for added privacy.

4. Set up alerts for your child’s name

It’s a good idea to set up alerts for your child’s name – this will notify you whenever your child’s name pops up on any search engine, including blogs and forums. You can use apps like Google Alerts or Talkwalker Alerts which will send you live notifications whenever something comes up.

5. Check privacy settings on social media sites

While it’s not a foolproof strategy, it’s still a good idea to check your privacy settings on social media platforms like Instagram. You can make your profile private and restrict the people who can view it. You can also take time out to read the privacy and securty policies of these platforms so you know exactly what you’re dealing with.

6. Share photos with family members privately

One reason parents engage in sharenting is because it’s a quick and easy way to share your special moments with friends and family. However, due to the nature of public social media platforms, we know it can be dangerous.

Instead, use private messaging apps so you have complete control over who sees your family’s photos. For instance, apps like WhatsApp use end-to-end encryption to protect your photos, and you can also opt for disappearing messages.

7. Spread awareness about sharenting

Although sharenting has the word ‘parenting’ in it, it’s not just parents who share kids’ photos – your friends or extended family members may too. Your child could be in a group photo taken at another kid’s birthday party or at a family vacation.

It’s necessary to have honest conversations with your loved ones about the dangers of sharenting – you could share this article with them! Help them understand your concerns and why you would prefer your child’s photo not be shared publicly.

Since most schools have an online presence these days, you can get together with other parents and create a social media policy so that there are rules about sharing pictures of students online.

8. Don’t share other people’s kids

Well, all the rules mentioned here also apply to other people’s kids, so don’t share their photos either! If you have a group photo to share, ask the parents of the children in it if they’re okay with it before posting it online. If not, you can blur out those children’s faces before posting.

Be particularly careful when taking pictures of children at the beach or the pool, when they may be wearing swimsuits – these pictures can easily be manipulated by criminals and perverts.

9. Talk to kids about digital consent

Start a conversation with your kids about privacy and security online, as well as about digital consent. Start talking about it at a young age, so by the time they’re old enough to have their own social media accounts, they will have an understanding about digital safety and the potential dangers in sharing too much online.

10. Take a step back before sharing

After all this, if you still want to share a photo online, ask yourself these questions first:

Does this picture have any information about your child’s name, date of birth, school or address?
Is your child fully dressed? Is she wearing a swimsuit or something not suitable for public viewing?
Are there other children in the picture? Is any of their information visible?
Would this bother you if your parents posted this picture of you at that age?

Answering these questions will help you decide if you really want to post that picture or not.

If you’ve already shared pictures of your kids online, it’s okay – there’s no need to panic. You can go over your social media accounts and remove anything that could be a potential danger. Make your settings private and share your wishes with your family. Go over your social media accounts regularly, and do the other things mentioned above, like setting alerts and spreading awareness.

While we often consider our kids an extension of ourselves, we need to remember that they are their own people, and they deserve the right to create their own digital identity. Navigating parenthood in the digital age is hard, but with these tips and some common sense, it can be done!

References:

Prerna is the founder, editor and owner of ‘Maa of All Blogs’, one of India’s Top Parenting Blogs. Besides being a certified Ashtanga Yoga instructor, she is also a fashion designer and economics graduate.

When she’s not busy running her home and business, she ensures she stays active – whether it’s running the half marathon, completing the Oxfam walk or climbing to the Everest base camp. Prerna enjoys wearing all her hats, and she does so in style!