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“Study diligently,be honest,don’t lie,be respectful to your teachers and elders,share with your friends and take care of those who are younger than you”,that was pretty much the mantra that we grew up with,the guiding laws from our parents.Life was so simple,guided by the sweet laws of parenting.Now when I see kids ,so emotionally intelligent ,so competitive,excelling in almost two to three talents,I do but wonder if life is as simple now?Every school competition is played with the fervourofan ‘Indian Idol’,and the pressure starts as early as kindergartens.I remember a dance competition where one Junior KG kid had taken classes from a professional choreographer for a month and the sets were also prepared professionally and details like costume,professional make up artist were all taken care of .The child did win ,but I shudder to think of the performance pressure for the child or her mother or even her peers who would have to match up to the level next time.What happened to the good old days?Even in college we had a choreography team where we came up with ideas and steps ,downloaded songs and remixed them to form a theme song for our team.Even designed our own clothes and we won everywhere we went at All India levels,all by ourselves.Just practised very,very hard andaced.Which brings me to my second point, kids today are being served everything on a platter.We as parents do all the groundwork,provide them with the best of opportunities and push them to excel.Even small class projects is googled and no expense is spared.The competition is so thick in the mind of parents that child’s childhood ,their natural ability is somewhere lost.One of my friends recently told me of a grade one kid who locked herself in the room as she could not take more pressure from her mother for studies.Are we trying to satisfy our justification for giving up careers for our kids or trying to fulfill our unfulfilled desires or just succumbing to peer pressure?Have you ever heard ,of aten year old boy committing suicide because he was denied an evening out ,when you were kids?When a mother called me to thank me ,for my son had shared his project pictures with her daughter,as she had forgotten to carry them.Instead of being proud I was concerned.I was challenged between being worried that my child was so naive or being proud as he was a sweet generous soul.I was more worried he would not have given his best shot to the project.My parents would have been proud,so I did tell him it was a nice deed to share with his friend,but I was also worried for his future.It irks me that I had to tell him to take care of his needs first and then help others.It is against all that I have learned but that’s the world now.
When my kids friends come home,and he is only seven,they discuss the cars they own,the number of Ipads and laptops they possess rather than discussing toys,games,studies.I don’t remember ever even discussing this stuff with my friends.New car ,even a new TV was a great celebration,as it was uncommon.We had the same car and TV for the last 15 years.Today it’s not about the TV but how many inches,LED or LCD or 3D.Not only a new car but BMW or Mercedes.We broke our heads trying to explain to our kid why we cannot afford a Ferrari.He finally agreed ,after he realised we were poor ;0)!!There was no other way we could have won this arguement.
The face of parenting is changing and I am not sure I like it!The challenges ahead are tough and the road scary.
