A few weeks back, I had shared my thoughts on motherhood for the hundredth time :), by now you must be used to me going on and on about it. However, I had discussed my insecurities and indecisiveness as a new mom and parenting advice I receive from every corner even now.
You have been reading a lot about my babies, my life, and my experiences. I decided to ask moms around me for their journeys, views, and struggles and this is what they have to share. These are few stories from moms who wrote back to us. Brace yourselves for some serious truth bombs from these real moms.
‘Malish’ – Or baby massage is the biggest conflicting advice I have received. My paediatrician was against massaging the baby while my mother and all the other elders in the family wanted the baby to be massaged I guess to the point that it hurt to watch!
I thought to myself if I feel good about a massage maybe the baby does too. I did the massage for my baby myself with tender loving care! I think he loved it. This was my first step in believing that there is no right or wrong way of doing things, there’s just my way
Breastfeeding – I was totally sold on the thought that breastfeeding is the best food for newborns and they should be breastfeeding till the time they wanted to. But after a point (about a year and a half!) I was not happy breastfeeding. I had decided to introduce new baby foods when he was 6 months and then eventually weaned off the baby from breastfeeding. My take on this is – it’s a mutually agreed decision between the baby and the mom, no?
Finally, TV time! So how much time is good TV time for a 3-year-old? Some said none, others said time limit and remaining said what’s life without technology? My reason to resort to technology was to get some “me-time” and I believed that entertaining kids is not the sole responsibility of moms! So I created ‘daddy hours’, ‘didi hours’ and ‘dadi hours’, basically reached out to any help I could get for some ‘guilt-free’ time to myself!
We love the concept of daddy, didi and dadi hours :)!! I think we are going to try this one out.
Raaji Khanna is a mom to a princess and a little prince or so she likes to describe the two little ones in her life.
Raising kids is the most important job in a mom’s life. The responsibilities of effective parenthood are staggeringly heavy at times. It is indeed a challenge for a mother to raise a happy child. In life, we keep getting advice from friends, relatives and our parents but to stick with your innate mother’s instinct is what I believe in. Trust me nobody can know your child better than you, nobody can and nobody will ever be you in your child’s life, not even the father. There may be some rare incidents where you may go wrong but a mother’s decision on child’s life matters a lot and weighs a lot. A mother sees not only the good in her child but is also aware of her child’s weakness. But when to correct it and how to correct is where we have to take tough bitter decisions in life. Sometimes against the whole world. Maybe someone will support you maybe someone won’t, but we mothers have to still tread on the path which we think is best for our kids.
Essentially, for me, it is about raising a child with strong morals. Most people say if we don’t punish our children, they’ll grow up doing the wrong thing. That’s a bleak view of human nature and could turn out to be wrong. Kids of this generation understand love and care more than a cruel punishment, be it as small as no cartoon for two hours; or no garden today…even timeouts disconnect us from our kids. Remember, the more disconnected they feel from us the worse will be their behaviour. If the punishment teaches our child all the wrong lessons, it is not the correct path to take. Loving them, allowing them to experiment under guidance, setting limits, teaching them empathy helps them grow up with connect and a whole lot of love. At the end of the day, a mother knows what’s best for her child, sometimes with two children you might have to use two completely different ways of dealing with a situation.
Each mom has her own parenting style and if no punishment is your ideology, go with it.
Yes, people do advice. But I knew what I wanted to do. Since I had an elder son I was aware of what I have to do. More importantly, I had started valuing myself. I wouldn’t take the stress of things like mothers touch and exclusive feeding etc and did the upbringing to my best capacity. I would give time to myself too and then to my kids. I do whatever I can but don’t procrastinate about things that I can’t do. Over the years, I have realised that its ok not to do everything on your own, it’s ok to ask the dad and people around to chip in raising the kid. It does not make me less of a mom.
With my elder one, I used to leave everything that I was doing and run home even if he had a cold. I was trying to manage all this along with running my business and I got exhausted. With Mahira, my younger one I am a more relaxed and balanced mom. Recently, my younger one was running a fever and I had a very important client meeting The earlier me would have cancelled and sat at home, nothing wrong with it moms, but I knew now as a more experienced mom that if I could step out for a two-hour meeting, she would be just fine.. My hubby and my MIL wanted me to stay at home but I explained to them why my work is also important like my child. I finished my meeting, came home and took care of her. She survived those few hours peacefully without me. Yes, your baby is important but you cannot overlook yourself. After all, a happy mom ensures a happy baby!
We always believe in moms going beyond motherhood and if they can keep a balance between their family time and their passions, why not?
These were some of the stories by real moms, do you identify with them? Would you like to share your stories with us and get featured?
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