I have heard of so many stories of women proclaiming,”I looked at my baby when the first time they handed him to me and fell in love with him, that very moment!” My question is how? I remember, going through the ordeal of 12 hrs of labour, panting, pushing and finally when the baby was out….I was smothered in blood …and I was totally exhausted. In all this a crying wailing baby. Yes, I was mesmerized for some time to see the ‘bundle’! It was amazing how that little thing had survived within me and how it had come out from such a narrow tunnel. Love, did not happen then for sure! I would say when you recover physically and when the baby starts responding a bit is when you start the connection, so maybe at three months of age. A lot of women actually go through post partem depression, when they see their body still in awful shape(we all want to believe that once the baby is out we will get back our beautiful bodies back, miraciously). They also secretly feel that the baby is getting more attention than them. All I am trying to share here is that woman it’s ok to be shattered initially, you have gone through such a huge ordeal, your hormones, your body, your life has changed in so many ways that you can’t even imagine. So stop feeling gulity, you’re afterall just human.
Raising a kid is a huge responsibility, something you can’t quit or even walk away from , so have a baby only when you are ready both mentally and physically. Being a little prepared always helps, so I am going to pen down some things which i feel are essential in the to dos and donts of having a baby. For starters, lets talk about planning;
Fitness helps-Once you’re in your pregnancy, you will put on some weight, which varies from person to person and trust me for most women I know, they are all struggling with post pregnancy weight or have become comfortably numb in the knowledge. So in case you are planning to have a baby, you should start exercising and try and be on the lower side of your desirable weigh, I would say start 6 months to an year in advance. It is perfectly fine to do light exercises, even weights (with the help of a proper instructor) during and through your pregnancy. Unless your gynaec advises against it due to medical reasons. My gynaec was super excited with me as I exercised throughout my second pregnancy.The result was a superfast delivery and very short labor. Also no ailments. Yoga and swimming are supposed to be great while your are pregnant. Don’t do any heavy duty exercising once you’re pregnant.
Gynaec-A good gynaec is very important, when you are planning the baby. After all, you are trusting her with your and your baby’s life. So research here helps a lot. A good gynaec is one who has the patience to listen to you and answer all your questions with patience.You should be very comfortable with your gynaec. The first time around I changed my gynaec after 4 months as she would not answer my questions and would tell me to read books and surf the net. For her these were regular questions. Her time was super precious, finally I changed my gynaec, the best decision of my life. My new male generic was an awesome doctor(in experience) and person. I have never felt uncomfortable with him.
Another point, when you chose your gynaec please make sure they are associated with a good hospital,you don’t want to deliver in a rundown place with low amenities. Or, if you love your doctor, please check with them if they ar willing to come down to a hospital nearer to your residence, in case of an emergency. Most doctors are restrict themselves to one or two hospitals only. I reside in Mumbai where traffic is a great issue, so when I had to shift even further away from my hospital which was in Breach candy, it was a nightmare to live in the fact that i might deliver in the traffic.
Ovulation Cycle-It helps to know your ovulation chart. Specially women who have difficulty getting pregnant, please see your gynaec. Who will help you monitor and understand and how to monitor your ovulation cycle and will tell you days which you are more probable to get pregnant.
Stem cellbanking-Stem cell banking, is something I would strongly proclaim. It’s like buying life insurance for your child. As science is advancing, there are a lot of diseases like cancer, bone marrow transplants where we use stemcell banking. There are a lot of companies now that are into stem cellbanking and due to market competition even offering you deals. They will come to your house and do a presentation. Though expensive, they have emi options as well. Some well known names are Lifecell,Cyrocell etc. Though typically they bank the umbical cord of the baby at the time of delivery. Nowadays, new options like banking stemcells from milk teeth of children and from a woman when she is PMSing have been introduced.
Hospital registration-Most prestigious hospitals like Lilavati, Breach Candy etc, need you to register with them with your expected delivery date atleast 4-5 months prior to your EDD. Though this does not ensure a guaranteed room of your choice, but it does block a bed for you in the hospital. So, if you don’t want any surprises in the end please register in advance.
lamaze classes-These classes teach you healthy birth practises that will make pregnancy and labor safe and easy to bear. Plus you will end up meeting other moms-to-be in a similar state, to share your worries and feel comfortable about weight gain. One such great class called ‘Nine Months Pregnancy’ that I went to is run by Dr Rita Shah. She is really good and it was she who made me mentally ready for my first delivery.All panting and puffing helps in labor,no matter how silly it sounds initially. The link to the same is .
Books to read-Reading always helps,as your body is going through various changes,its best to be aware and be ready for it.Books like ‘What to expect when you are expecting’ are like the bibles for pregnant mothers. It deals with month by month. There are also other books you can refer to like Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth About Pregnancy and Childbirth,The mother of all pregnancy books-The truth about Pregnancy etc.
Sites to resigter with–
Sites like www.babycenter.in,www.essentialbaby.com,indiaparenting.com are great sites to get registered with. Here there are parent forums ,where you can post a question or have discussions with parents on your issues.Sites like babycenter are great as once you register your baby’s birthdate with them they keep sending you weekly mails about their growth and development.Though every baby’s growth pattern is variable but the mails kept me aware of what to expect and track if any milestones were too late. Sites like www.lamaze.org give you weekly mails on your pregnancy .
Shop for self-Pregnancy is tough, motherhood tougher. So woman pamper yourself as you will need it. Buy stretch mark creams, foot soaks(feet really hurt). Also investing in certain basic essentials stretchable clothes with spandex which are comfortable. For lowers I like jeggings,gym tracks and yoga pants- brands like urban yoga,reebok ,nike .For tops,T shirts and kaftans are very comfortable. Also invest in stretchable gold, black and silver blouses for sarees. Knit churidars and salwars instead of tie ups are more comfortable and don’t slip of your tummy either. There are also a lot of brands like mothercare,Me and mom etc which stock clothings for pregnant women. There are now various online sites like www.myntra.com,www.jabong.com etc also offering maternity wear.
Mother’s spa-A regular at parlors and spas this came as a surprise for me when the parlor/spa employees refused to even massage my back when it was killing me carrying the bump. Though very prevalent abroad,it’s a rarity even in a city like Mumbai. Very few spas offer specially designed services for pregnant women, one such leading spa is Myrah Spa in Juhu. Others places like four seasons, Westin etc will entertain you if you advise them at the time of booking.
Maid/daycare-Maids have always been important but once the baby arrives, they take a different dimension.Specially if you’re working you will need a very reliable system ,some working women advise two 24hrs maids,some say one 12 hr and one 24 hr.Whatever the system you want to entertain,but get it in place before the baby arrives .Also you should arrange for a massage lady as well who will massage you for the first month and the baby for as long as you want(massage is very important for both you and the baby).
A lot of women try agencies,but it has never worked for me I feel that it’s becoming increasingly a scam(they send few maids for trials and once you finalise and pay the maid will complete a month and quit,after which replacement maids will be so shitty ,that you will only give up on the process).Daycare is a more reliable alternate, atleast here you can drop the kid everyday and there are no leaves.Getting a good daycare is also tough in a city like Mumbai,my friends have just registered their 5 month old kid to start once he is 1 year. So again we need to plan in advance.
The idea is to prepare you for the road ahead and I hope you find the blog useful. I have not put any contact numbers as they keep changing, that’s why links are mentioned. Mothers, I have tried to cover most topics in case you feel that you could add something to the blog, please feel free to share.
Happy reading :0)!
Very realistic and honest article and loads of information and first hand expt shared 🙂 nice post 🙂
Prerna Sinha says
thanks Shweta, from the heart 🙂
Archana Kapoor says
That’s a very insightful article Prerna… Thanks for sharing 🙂 Helped me a lot 🙂
Prerna Sinha says
Thank you Archi, you are always very supportive
The first baby always is the most stressful and exciting time, you relax after that truly. Great information.
Swayam Tiwari says
Even for dads like us, the bond with the child matures over a period of time.I am limiting this observation to myself.
Subha natarajan says
Hey..absolutely heartfelt and true…the love for a child is inborn but is probably realised by us only when the dust settles post its birth…nevertheless its a great journey definitely to be enjoyed…
I too got my son’s stem cells banked!!
I love how you listed the important things that you need to look for. I agree about having a good doctor and about making sure the hospital is the one you want to deliver at. It is so important to get good care and feel comfortable when you are at your most vulnerable!
Since I lost my baby after 4 months, I always have a little bit trouble with the complaints of new mothers, even though I understand it. Yes – we all suffer – but a healthy crying living piece of love in your arms is just worth it all. To me this cliche is just the truth.
Prerna Sinha says
Hey Sabine, so sorry to hear that. May God give you strength.
Beautiful knowledgable post!!! My mom has had 7 children and though I haven’t myself, from watching her I totally get everything you talked about here.
Elle Mystique says
I’m a single lady but i find your blog very useful, or should i say, informative. It’s true that lots of women do not develop the bond with the baby right after birth, and actually there are some who don’t really develop the bond even after a year or two. This is the first time i’ve heard about stemvell banking so i’m quite curious as to what is it’s purpose, and with regards to the hospital registration, thay actually is nice because you’ve got the assurance re a blocked bed. I just don’t know if that’s being practiced here in the Philippines. I hope so. 🙂
Capers Rouge says
Lovely insights Prerna 🙂 And the Feature Picture is very cute 😀
Prerna Sinha says
I know :)!Thanks Sheetal.
What you mentioned above are really helpful for moms who’s expecting a baby soon. If ever I will conceive for my 3rd child, I wanted to try Lamaze
Ma. Clarice Lao says
Thank you for sharing all these tips. I totally agree with the stemcell banking though it’s a bit expensive but the benefits are so worth it. Glad to find mommy blogs. Very helpful.
Fantastic article , I really love your style of writing ! You might like to have a look at this : Unhappy being a mother …. klaudiascorner.net/regretting-being-a-mother …. Thanks for sharing your great write up ! Best wishes Klaudia
ROBERT LEE says
As a father, I can tell you that the overwhelming love I had for my babies where not at the moment they were born. It took months too.