Getting a call from the school and being complained about your child’s misconduct at school is one dreaded moment for every parent. Even the most well-behaved kids might end up in trouble at school. The reason being, children behave differently around different people and while your child is still growing up, you are probably unaware of a lot of reactions to stimuli that they are capable of.
Just some tips on how to handle such situations;
Do not react right away
One good parenting habit is to respond to situations that involve your child and not to react right away. If you receive a call from school or are called up for a meeting, you must thank the school for letting you know about the situation. Let the teacher tell you whatever details she wants to. Ensure them that you would take the required corrective measures.
Trying to defend your child or getting crazy with anger towards your child are not the correct reactions. Make it a point to gather facts before reaching a conclusion.
When you are alone with your kid, talk to them about what happened. Let them tell you their side of the story. If you start with the blame game right away or tell them how disappointed you are with them, they are more likely to lie and manipulate facts. You want to fetch out the right details from them and not some cooked up story. Kids lie when they are afraid of you. If they tell you the details truthfully, you are more likely to reach a conclusion and suggest a solution.
Once you have both the aspects of the story, try to figure out a solution. You must explain to your kid that it is important to avoid such an event from occurring again. Suggest them alternative reactions that do not involve violence or use of harsh language. For instance, confiding in the teacher, walking away from a particular friend who is provocative or telling you about what is bothering them at school could prove out to be better options than to land up in trouble at school.
Positive and Negative reinforcement
Reward your kid with their favorite toys, colours or books when they behave properly and follow your advice. On the other hand, if you notice that their behavior is not improving, you can take away one of their favorite toys or stop their TV time for a couple of days.
Follow Up With School
It is important to follow up with school. It is also important that your child knows that you are going to discuss the details of your conversation with their teacher or principal. Once they realize that there is no escape from inappropriate behavior, they are less likely to repeat it.
Lastly, involve the teacher in suggesting some solutions so that the same situation does not repeat.