What If Your Child Gets In Trouble At School?
Getting a call from the school and being complained about your child’s misconduct at school is one dreaded moment for every parent. Even the most well-behaved kids might end up in trouble at school. The reason being, children behave differently around different people and while your child is still growing up, you are probably unaware of a lot of reactions to stimuli that they are capable of.
Just some tips on how to handle such situations;
Do not react right away
One good parenting habit is to respond to situations that involve your child and not to react right away. If you receive a call from school or are called up for a meeting, you must thank the school for letting you know about the situation. Let the teacher tell you whatever details she wants to. Ensure them that you would take the required corrective measures.
http://maaofallblogs.com/2014/07/are-we-depending-a-lot-on-schools.html/
Trying to defend your child or getting crazy with anger towards your child are not the correct reactions. Make it a point to gather facts before reaching a conclusion.
Talk to your child
When you are alone with your kid, talk to them about what happened. Let them tell you their side of the story. If you start with the blame game right away or tell them how disappointed you are with them, they are more likely to lie and manipulate facts. You want to fetch out the right details from them and not some cooked up story. Kids lie when they are afraid of you. If they tell you the details truthfully, you are more likely to reach a conclusion and suggest a solution.
Make suggestions
Once you have both the aspects of the story, try to figure out a solution. You must explain to your kid that it is important to avoid such an event from occurring again. Suggest them alternative reactions that do not involve violence or use of harsh language. For instance, confiding in the teacher, walking away from a particular friend who is provocative or telling you about what is bothering them at school could prove out to be better options than to land up in trouble at school.
Positive and Negative reinforcement
Reward your kid with their favorite toys, colours or books when they behave properly and follow your advice. On the other hand, if you notice that their behavior is not improving, you can take away one of their favorite toys or stop their TV time for a couple of days.
Follow Up With School
It is important to follow up with school. It is also important that your child knows that you are going to discuss the details of your conversation with their teacher or principal. Once they realize that there is no escape from inappropriate behavior, they are less likely to repeat it.
Lastly, involve the teacher in suggesting some solutions so that the same situation does not repeat.
If we can do this, then the “getting in trouble” problems doesn’t lead to more trouble. Very informative post
Thanks, Priyanka. Love to know that you found this useful.
This is quite a practical problem that most of the parents face. And I really admire that you gave quite a practical approach to sort it out. Must read article for parents.
Thanks, Nisha. Do share it amongst your community.
These are some great points. We should indeed not react abruptly. Instead, listening to both side stories is really important. This not only helps us reach the right conclusion but also increases the confidence of kids in us.
Yes, we have to trust our kids but not blindly.
I feel it is very important to talk kids and understand what exactly happened and he is feeling and talking and discussing with teacher is very important
Indeed many times such situations can come. Talking to a child in a positive manner is the best way. Definitely following it up at school will matter, but consistent communication will make an impact.
Ya, I am the type of man who gets worried about a phone call from school or complains from the teacher. I surely going to implement your advice in my life too
I get worried too, it’s a natural reaction but how we handle our kids and situation post that will help and improve your kid.
Afterall, they learn the most from us.
I totally agree with you! Many a times parents cannot tolerate if someone complains about their child and either end up defending their child or beating him! You points are very good! We need to understand both sides of the story and handle the situation calmly!
Damn important points every parent should do in such situations, will definitely share it with my friends too
You have raised an important topic and I agree with everything you said.
Very true what you said about kids lying when they are afraid of their parents. We have all been through this stage.
The environment really needs to be calm. The ex
Totally agree with you that we should not react, but respond to the situation. But, before talking to the child, we must also ensure the right time to talk. The kid has confronted a difficult situation. He might be guilty or afraid. He needs time to settle down which we must give before talking to him.
Thanks, Dr. Shivangi that’s a very valid point. Cornering the kid is not a good idea.